A Collection of Windows jokes

Windows95:
- Windows95 - Plug and pray...
- Windows95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013)
- Windows95 - New look, same multicrashing
- Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading
- Windows95 - Every function is a restart function...
- Windows95 does really have preemptive Multitasking: It can boot and crash at the same time.
- Windows95 - crash compatible on Windows 3.x
Windows NT:
- Windows NT - Nice Try
- Windows NT - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty
Windows - Just another pain in the glass
Windows - Turn your Pentium into an XT...
Windows - The Gates of hell
Windows - The colorful clown suit for DOS
Windows - From the people who brought you EDLIN!
Windows - a virus with mouse support
Windows - a solitaire game that requires 16 MB and HD
Windows - so intuitive you only need a meg of help files!
Windows - a XT emulator for an AT
Windows 3.1 - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy
Windows vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done
Windows Multitasking - screwing up several things at once
Windows found - remove? (Y)es (S)ure (F)ine (O)K
Windows has the ability to screw up 2 things at the same time!
If Windows sucked it would be good for something
If Windows is user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual?
If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse!
Error #005 - Windows loading, come back tomorrow
Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance
Error #478 - Out of disk space. Delete Windows? (Y)es (H)ell yes!
DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell
The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
The word "Windows" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass...")
"Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate"
Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows
Alt-F4. Just do it.
OS/2 VirusScan -- "Windows found: Remove it? [Y,Y]"
Double your drive-space: delete Windows!
Favorite Windoze game: "Guess what this icon does?"
Microsoft is not the answer - Microsoft is the question and "No" is the answer!
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house
Microsoft's marketing: "Windows is SEMI-shareware"
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT?
Have you crashed your Windows today?
Some windows were made to be broken
This is an airconditioned room - do not open windows !
This is an airconditioned room - do not open windows!
Relax... you are entering a windows free zone
OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates
New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs
New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++
My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows
If Windows 95 doesn't start shipping soon, it might be Curtains 95.
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile!
I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying...
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
I can't wait for EDLIN to be ported for Windows
Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows...
Exhibitionists love Windows
Difference between a virus and windows? Viruses rarely fail.
Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven!
Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS!"
Bugs come in through open Windows
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows!
A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
Sorry, this virus requires MicroSoft Windows 3.x
Coming soon: EDLIN for Windows
Newsflash: Microsoft announces Visual Edlin for Windows
Time on your hands? Get Windows!
Hiroshima '45 - Tschenobyl '86 - Windows '95
Does someone know the cheats for Windows95?
What's the best of Windows95? The deinstaller!
Why is the Pentium 167 so fast? - It's for booting faster, if Windows crashed again.
What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft? - One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.
How do Microsoft employees exchange a bulb? Not at all... They/Bill Gates declare(s) darkness as a standard.
How many Windows PC owners does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, as long as you explain it's Plug'n'Play... they get confused if it doesn't come with a driver disk...
Help! There are Windows everywhere! In my car, my house
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I!
Mouse not present - click twice to continue...
Who the fuck is General Failure? And why is he reading my harddisk?
What's the difference between windows '95 and highly destructive unstoppable virus? About 90 Megs of hard disk space.
Windows '96 will also have artificial intelligence, e.g.:
- Unable to FORMAT A: Having a go at C:
- Can't Compress Hard Drive but don't worry I'll delete all files over size 50,000 that'll give you some space.
Last words of a Windows user:
- Why does that work now?
- Where do I have to click now? - There?
- message box: "Data not completely delete? Yes - No
  user: "No - ey - yes"
And here some German Windoof jokes:
- Windows 95: Das erste Programm, das sein Verfallsdatum im Namen hat!
- Boykottiert Microsoft - Kauft Eure Fenster bei OBI!
- Microsoft hat verkuendet, dass sie am 1. April 96 fuer alle ihre Programme ein bugfreies Update herausbringen!
- Windows95 kann alles, wegen der 32 Bit.
  Wenn ich 32 Bit getrunken habe, meine ich auch immer, ich könnte alles.
  (Koschwitz)
  Für die einen ist es ein Betriebssystem. Für die anderen der längste Virus der Welt.
  Stellt euch vor, es gibt Windows und keiner geht hin...
McAfee-Question: Is Windows a virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
1. They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2.) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences:
Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug.
And last, but not least, a picture about the real solution

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